apple is good for your health (:

Saturday, August 26, 2006

I have serious issues with the word "forgiveness".

And so her aunt arrives on another one of her routine monthly visits,
and reminds the poor lil girl about the pains of being a woman, young or old.
-sigh-


I'm currently chiding myself for forgetting to bring home my amaths textbook and bio notes.
AND, for forgetting to buy foolscap.
sheesh.

and THE AUNT just has to keep reminding me of what labour pain is.
okie so maybe it's not THAT bad.
but close enough.


HELP.

Friday, August 25, 2006

In whom or what do I place my security?

over all the earth You reign on high.
Every mountain stream every sunset sky
But my one request Lord my own only aim
Is that You reign in my again.

Lord reign in me reign in your power
Over all my dreams in my darkest hour
You are the Lord of all I am
So won't you reign in me again.

Over every thought Over every word
May my life reflect the beauty of the Lord
Cause You mean more to me than any earthly thing
So won't you reign in me again.

What is the meaning of life?
what is it that keeps me going even though life isn't a bed of roses?
Whom or what is it that I live for?
What's my purpose on this earth?


I've been a Christian all my life. But is my life really spirit-filled? Do i live like a Christian or just like anyone else?
The truth hit me like ice-cold water across my face. I'm no different from any non-christian. My life barely even reflects the Lord. I'm not the light and salt of the world like i was called to be.

What's my purpose of living?
Why. God of course! but wait. Is He really my reason?
\What exactly is it that keeps me going.
I know that deep down inside my heart it's because of God.
but to me, that's not good enough.
I want to know for sure, to be so certain, to embrace the fact that indeed I am living for God and because of Him.
Not some "i think" feeling that's buried deep down inside me, waiting to be excavated.
NO.
It just isn't good enough.
I want to be so sure and confident of it.
I want to be confident and convicted enough to tell someone outright that indeed I live for the Lord, and that I do have a reason for my existance.
I'm not ashamed to say that I'm a Christian or that God is the reason why i'm living.
But i know that even after i say that, I'll question myself.
Do i really mean what i say? Or is that just something i think i feel?
I don't want to give politically correct answers.
Like, I live because of my religion, etc.. (not that there's anything wrong with that if you really mean it.)
But I just want to make sure that I'm not lying to God, to myself.

The Lord has always been my security.
I never placed my hope in friends completely. There just is no point.
Everyone changes.
But the Lord has said that He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.
He has been my source of comfort, strength and refuge all these years until recently, when i've been pushing him out of my life.
consciously and sub-conciously.
But He never gave up on me.

The eternal God
is your Refuge,
And underneath
are the everlasting arms.
(Deuteronomy 33:27)

Thus, I know that someday I will be able to say outright confidently that indeed,
THE LORD IS THE REASON WHY I LIVE.

Jesus, all for Jesus
All I am and have and ever hope to be.
All of my ambitions thoughts and plans.
I surrender these into Your hands.
For it's only in Your will that I am free
Jesus, all for Jesus.

Kudos to Mr Sng for posing these questions.
They really made me think.
I believe God put me in a lit class for a reason.
And gave me teachers like Mr Sng and Ms Corrie Tan.
Lit can change your outlook on life.
TAKE LIT.
want the TRUTH. (:

oh give me strength Lord, to live the way you want me to.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

THIS IS A SPECIAL SHOUT-OUT TO MY DEAREST DEAREST TABLE PARTNER DENYSE!!
SHE TURNS 15 TODAY!!! (:

gosh. more white hair and wrinkles huh denyse? (: anw. hope you liked the surprise and the cake!!!! (: thanks a bunch for being such a great partner and friend all these while! LOVEYALOADSLOADSLOADS. <3!

here's wishing you a:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!





and now. another special dedication. TO MY DEAREST RACH TAN!(:
hey you! don't give up alright? KEEP TRYING! you can do it! we'll both get through this tgt with God's help okie? HAVE FAITH. cheer up my dear! LOVEYOU(: <33!

hmmmmm. i think that's all. i wanna try and do some hw.
christabel is turning over a new leaf. she'll be a GOOD girl from now on. haha.
and her table doesn't have a himalayas anymore. SO SAD!
I MISS MY HIMALAYAS!!!! ):

okie time to reply tags:
yusin: yesyes. i finally did it. ain't you glad? (:

biru: HAHA. HELLO(: a pleasant surprise indeed. take care you blur and clumsy SOTONG. (:

xiwen: WELCOME(: enjoy reading and eating the chocs. LOVEYALOADS too. HUGS! <3 take care(:

michelle: OF COURSE I MENTIONED YOU! you're my DARLING oxygen tank! we're TELEPATHIC TOO! gosh i'm gonna miss you much when you leave! ): take care alright? MUCH LOVE. <3!

jes: YES! WE'LL CATCH UP SOON! i miss you BLUR QUEEN! (:

cch: YO CIHUI!(:

FLAB-SAB: yes hairy belly agrees flag day was FUNFUNFUN! "cedar? OH COOL." HAHA. eh tmr trg must work those flabs hor! don't worry this isn't a 'threaten'. HAHA. (:

denyse: HELLO MY DEAREST PARTNER(: i dedicated a paragraph to you. *points up* ENJOY! and HAPPY BIRTHDAY again. <3!

nat: haha. YEAH(: i don't wanna do your random test! haha. (:

rach: HEY MY DEAREST. i dedicated a paragraph to you too!(: cheer up yeah? HUGS.





stupid mandy pon school. AGAIN. i bet she stay at home slack lor. study what study. DON'T BLUFF ME! haha. i shall kill you when i see you tmr, mandy! (: haha. MISS YOU! <333!!!

okie now i shall go book a room at IMH for sab and i. oh and for edwin too. he needs it the most. HAHA.(:

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

gawd. there are so many tests.

had bio test today. amaths and ss tmr. have the teachers nth to btr to do?!

bio was average. hope i pass.

taking a break from TRYING to mug.



i seriously dunno whether it's my problem or yours.
do you know how irritated i get when im with you?
you're always trying to domineer everything.
im so sick of it.
for once, just shuddup alright.
and you sure do have a big ego.
goshness.
i cant stand you anymore.







im sorry sab. (:






i finally finished replying dearie's letter. gosh it took me like so long. OOPS. im sorry i replied so late! (:
i had recess with mandy today. FINALLY. (:






CHEER UP XIWEN! (: it'll be fine in the end okie? (: <3!




I LOVE MICHELLE NG! (:
GOSH IT'S AMAZING HOW MUCH YOU UNDERSTAND ME AND HOW ALIKE WE ARE. I REALLY DUNNO WHAT I'LL DO WITHOUT YOU. <3!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

OMG. i have not posted for eons. goshgoshgosh. somebody smack me for letting this blog die. haha. ohwells. im BACK now. (:

yesterday was NATIONAL DAY. no big deal. as you can see. im NOT a very patriotic person. but i still love my country though. went out with sab and the rachels on tuesday.
CLICK, SUBWAY, NEOPRINTS. eeyer. i wanted to watch THE LAKE HOUSE LOR. -sigh- nvm. i shall get the ACTS29 ppl to watch it with me. (: awwww. let's see if even BARKER guys will cry during a romantic movie. (:

had BBQ ytd with ACTS29. farewell party for steven and welcome party for timothy. THE BBQ FIRE TOOK LIKE ALMOST AN HR TO START. so in the end we only bbq-ed sausages and garlic bread. the rest was sent for PROPER cooking. haha. by the time the food was cooked, we were all too full from stuffing ourselves with drinks and junk food. so we played games and loser hadta eat the chicken wings. hahaha. I DIDNT LOSE. woohoo. nat lost to me. AWWWWW.

then i played the game that tiffy and i played during chinese lesson. the hand game. hahah. bryan got it bad 'cos i used a sharp pen on him. OUCH. the rest of the boys kena marker. hahahha. only mark escaped 'cos he knew the game. DANG. oh and yes. we played the BLIND MAN, DEAF MAN, MUTE MAN game on nat. SO FUNNY. his expression was priceless when mark ket drawing on his hand despite the STOP he was shouting. HAHAH. yeah ytd was fun. all our outings always turn out fun and eventful. I LOVE ACTS29! (:

currently talking to EASTINA now. we're finally catching up. GOSH I MISS HER. xD really and truly. <3!

eeks. stupid BEST FRIEND gave up on his blog. must go bug him.

oh and yes. F.O.P ROCKED. as usual. im so glad rach could come with me. (: LOVE HER LOADS.

oh man wth is eastina trying to tell me. cant read her words. haha.

SHOUT-OUTS:

xiwen: YOU'RE WELCOME. I LOVE YOU MUCH MUCH TOO. (:

shanmei: RECESS! my new phone buddy. (: OH NO. I THINK I FORGOT TO CALL YOU BACK. again. xP



i guess that's all.

YAYY I FINALLY REMOVED MY PASSWORD AND UPDATED MY BLOG. (: